Alter Ego (Alex)

Uh oh... I'm in a scary place yet again... NO! NOOOOO!

*Alex curls up on the floor, whimpering in fear, believing he is about to suffer yet another torture*

Mysterious Voice: MuahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA...

Oh no... it's them! Iris, help me!
Muahahahaha!
... You're not Agatio and Karst.
MOAHAHAHAHA!
What. The. Hell?!
Mwehehehe... I am the evillest being on Weyard. Nobody is eviller than me!
Why are you wearing clown makeup?
To make me look even more evil!
Seriously? It just makes you look silly.
You cannot understand true evil.
Say... that flowing hair and that voice are very familiar... you're not supposed to be me, are you?!
I am Alex, the future ruler of Weyard.
This is a nightmare. Right? Right?! *pinches self* Ow.
I ate a baby yesterday. It was the most delicious baby ever.
o.0;;;
Babies taste great with mustard and ketchup, did you know that?
Of course not!
And I just love to kick puppies!
Why would you kick a cute, harmless animal?
Pffft. Cute and harmless things need to be destroyed.
Wow. Do I want to know what else you like to do?
Talking at the theater.
*gasp*
Not just that, but I put my seat back on planes just for the heck of it.
... Y-you monster! Wait, hold on, we don't have planes and theaters in Weyard!
Well, if we did, I would still do it.
Is being evil really that fun?
Sure it is! Why, I wreaked havoc upon an entire city, playing with nature and made everyone run away screaming!
Wait, you can do that?
Oh, sorry, it was actually in Sim City. But, wow, I wish I could just like, destroy an entire town. With people inside. It would be so fun!
I'm just going to ignore the first sentence. But seriously, people inside? At least I had the decency to wait until Vale was empty. Sheesh.
Come on, Alex, you got to think more evil.
Yeah? And what do you suggest?
Like... secretly serving them anchovy pizza.
*blink* I know there's pizza in Tolbi, but...
Or shake cans of beer and put them back in the fridge!
I don't even know what a fridge is.
Oh, Alex, Alex, Alex... you have so much to learn.
Riiight... can you suggest something that's actually possible to do in this world?!
Hmm. You could go and get a woman pregnant and then just abandon her?
Look, if I have sex with a woman, it's going to be for a very good reason.
Funny, you didn't object to the abandoning part.
Yes, well, I'm hardly going to settle down and become a father. Not my thing.
But you could tell all sorts of terrible dad jokes! Or utterly traumatise your child, or-
Can we please change the subject already? You're getting on my nerves.
Ahh, do I annoy you? And here I thought we could be good friends.
I don't know, dude, you're kind of creeping me out. I think I'll come up with my own evil things to do, thanks.
Well, if you need any ideas... I've got plenty of them. For example, what if you could put people in pools and remove the ladders? Or remove the doors and seal them inside forever?! *laughs evilly*
There you go, not making any sense again...
Oh, excuse me. Sometimes I just play The Sims as an outlet, but wow, some of the things I wish I could do in real life. Imagine how it feels to be a god, to have these people's lives in your hands, laughing maniacally as you set off rockets indoors and watch them burn!
Hey, I have to ask... was all that stuff about eating babies even true?
Er, uh... well, maybe not.
And the part about kicking puppies?
... A dog once bit my leg so I kicked it away. That counts, right?
Are you even being serious right now?! Have you actually done anything evil to others?!
Um... does trolling or killing players in MMORPGs count?
*blink* Um. Sure. Why not.
But do not worry, for I will one day become the most feared being in all of Weyard! *laughs maniacally*
Yeah, sure. Good luck with that, buddy.
First though, I must get the rest of the Golden Sun's power off that pathetic brat, Isaac.
Uh, right. Well, don't let me stop you...
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *warps out*
... I honestly have no idea what that was all about.

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