Alter Ego (Garet)

Huh, I don't remember any weird dark places like this...
Hee hee hee!
What the heck? Is that me? Maybe it's a mirror...
Dur. *smacks head*
On second thoughts, that's no mirror.
Me Garet. Me hungry.
I'm Garet, not you! You must be some weird impostor!
Nuh huh. Me Garet. G... A... R... R... E... T... I think...
It's G-A-R-E-T, fool!
Is it? *reaches down and picks up a rock* Duh... what's this?
o_0 It's... a rock.
*smashes self on head with it* Ow. Garet hit head. Head hurt.
What the heck are you supposed to be? Who are you?
Me Garet. Me Adept. Me help Isaac... er, what were we doing again? 
*sigh* Going on a quest for the Wise One?
Wise One?
That big floating rock with an eye?
Me hungry! Me ate a whole roast chicken ten minutes ago and me hungry again. Have you food?
A whole roast chicken and you're already hungry?
Uh huh. For breakfast, I ate nineteen rashers of bacon, eight fried eggs, ten pieces of fried toast, two poached eggs, one hard boiled egg, five bowls of cereal and some fruit.
Seriously? Dare I ask what lunch was?
A whole roast chicken, a bowl full of roast potatoes, a basket full of blueberry muffins, three slices of cake, some apple pie...
Okay, seriously! How could anyone eat that much?
Me have big stomach.
This is nuts. I'm out of here.
I like cake!
Rats. I don't even know how to get out of here.
My mommy made me five cakes for my ninth birthday when I managed to spell three out of ten words right at the spelling bee. She was so proud of me! It was the best birthday ever!
Three out of ten doesn't sound that good...
Who cares? Me don't need to spell. Me good with sword. *pulls it out and swings it around crazily*
*puts head in hands* This is a nightmare, right? Right? I'm just dreaming this, aren't I? Well, I want to wake up right now!
*accidentally throws sword* Whoops. There goes sword.
So, about this spelling thing... how do you spell Isaac?
E-Y-E-S-A-C-K!
Oh, Iris... and Ivan?
E-Y-E-F-A-N?
... ... Mia?
M-E-Y-A-H
Okay, this is getting old. Can't you just leave now?
Duh. Me lost. Me no know where to go.
What is the matter with your grammar? It's weird.
My grandmother's fine.
GAH! That's it, I've had it with your stupidity! *casts Pyroclasm*
Whee. *burns up and disappears*
That was so weird... *shivers* Man... what just happened there?
 
 

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