Welcome. You are in a place we'll call the "Sort of Court".
... Um.
Okay. Please state your
name and profession to the court. I am
Layana, wife of Lord Hammet, the ruler of Tolbi. I am the
prosecutor and I am going to cross-examine you. Who is
the defense? Sorry, we couldn't
get Phoenix Wright, so you're going without a lawyer. You
just do not want to lose the case, correct? ... The defendant
will remain silent unless questioned. No way.
I am out of here. Objection! O_O You cannot leave
until I have asked you ten questions. So ask
them then. And then I'll sue your behind. o_o;;; Question
One: How long have you been married to Hammet? Over
fifteen years. But what does that have to do with... Silence! Question
two: Is your marriage stable and secure? >=/
Yes. Very. Question three:
Has it ever bothered you that Hammet is fat and ugly? Excuse
me?! Looks do not mean everything! So you agree that
Hammet is fat and ugly? Eep...
Everything you say
goes on the record. T_T Question four:
Have you ever met Dodonpa of Lunpa? That
man kidnapped Hammet and did not give him back despite us sending ransom money.
So you definitely
sent ransom money? Huh?
Did he receive
anything else? Just
the money. Hmm... Question
Five: Has Dodonpa ever been to Kalay?
Certainly not. If he comes near us, he's going straight to jail. I mean it. Not even through
the secret tunnel entrance? What
secret tunnel entrance? The secret tunnel
entrance leading into the Palace. And we've been there. So much
for it being a secret. Have you ever used
this tunnel, perhaps to sneak out? I have
never had to sneak out. Hmm. Sure. The
tunnel would make a great meeting place, hmm? I have
no idea. Question six: Have
you ever been to Lunpa? Someone
rich like me should go nowhere near Lunpa. But have you been
to Lunpa? No! I'm
not stupid! Question seven:
Look at this picture of Dodonpa. Good looking, isn't he? Well,
he's... dashing, I suppose. But he's evil. So you don't
consider him better looking than Hammet? He
kidnapped my husband! Question eight:
Why were you so disappointed when Hammet was rescued? I was
not disappointed. You gave Ivan hell
for what he did. ... You
are an FBM, are you not? Um, er... yes. So? You are
biased. Objection! ... Ivan brings back
the man who is supposed to be the love of your life and you throw it in his face
and tell him to get back on his quest. Are you
inferring I do not love Ivan? No. I am inferring
that you enjoyed the time you had without Hammet. What?!
Question nine: Are
you aware Dodonpa is a ladies' man? Um. No.
Well, even his
wife knows, and it seems Dodonpa often disappears, perhaps to catch the eyes of
pretty ladies. I see.
Perhaps he even
went to see pretty ladies whose husbands he was hiding away so that they would
not interfere. !!! Question ten: Are
you having an affair with Dodonpa?
Objection! What?! You
can't speculate like that in court! And that's slander! And you can't prove
anything! I have a witness. Excuse
me? I would like to
call the Crazy Hobo to the stand! Crazy
Hobo?
*hic*
*burp* Where'sh de rum gawn? State your name
and profession! Can't
remember... *hic* This
witness is no good. Crazy Hobo, do you
or do you not play Golden Sun? This is
a random person off the street? *hic* Me
wifey looked in de sun once... her eyes gone bad... *burp*
We object to
this monstrosity defiling the site with its loathsome presence.
What IS that? Crazy Drunk Hobo!
Do you recognise this woman? Thars a
womyn? Ah tawt it was a man... Your Honor! I
call for the removal of this useless drunk witness! But there's no
judge, Ivan. You
can't prove I'm having an affair with Dodonpa. So there. *sigh* What would
Phoenix Wright do... think outside the box...
We'll put
you in a box if you don't get that smelly hobo out of here. *sings*
Rain, ran, down the drain... Crazy hobo! Do you
recognise her or not? Looks
like mah sisther... or wash it a brother? I forgot... *hic* Goodness, how
much has this hobo drunk? I call for the
arrest of this hobo for disrupting the courtroom! Redrum!
*taken away* I give up. *bangs
gavel* The courtroom finds Layana NOT GUILTY! Well,
no thanks for wasting my time. And now, thoughts
on Layana?
Scary lady.
She's
pretty. She yelled at
me. ;_; I think Layana
is a nice lady and it was mean of Caz to torture her like that.
What the
heck is the matter with you? No comment.
Kalay sounds
nicer than that horrible Tolbi...
Why are you
asking me?
Um... no
comment.
I'm
glad she took good care of Ivan.
I do not
know who this woman is.
She's
my wife. <3
Um... I
like cookies?
I have no
idea who Layana is so I cannot comment.Return to Interviews