Torture: Kraden
Hmm...
another strange and mysterious place...
Oh, Alex,
it's you.
Ahh!
Don't
worry, we're not going to do anything to you.
We just want
to ask you a favor.
Isaac's in
that closet. Can you go in there and kill him?
We're too
scared of him and we want Menardi avenged.
You could
also use this as an opportunity to claim the rest of the Golden Sun!
Isaac's in
the closet? Really? *dives in*
*BANG*
*CLICK*
Sucker!
We just
locked you in the closet!
Have fun!
...Huh? Hey,
there is someone else in here...
Oh, hello,
Alex. It is quite a surprise to see that you have just joined me in the closet.
No... NO!!!
Do you know
what this closet is made of, Alex? It is made of pine. A pine tree is a
coniferous tree of the genus Pinus in the family Pinaceae. Quite a difficult
word, if you are not used to such things. Pines are evergreen, which means the
leaves never die. Green is quite a nice colour, isn't it? Speaking of green, is
it not quite odd how Felix's cape changes from green to blue? I wonder if Felix
has a magical colour changing cape. Capes are quite cool. I think if I were a
superhero, I would want to have a long cape fluttering dramatically from my
back. It strikes me as quite odd how you have a cape when you are actually a
villain and not a superhero. In fact, you aren't anywhere near being a hero.
Please...
stop...
In my day,
people did not ask their elders to stop. In fact, young people like you listened
dutifully to your elders. It was a whack with a cane for not listening, two
whacks with a cane for talking back. I never got caned because I always behaved
myself and I listened to everything older people said. Now I know too much for
my own good and as part of my diabolical revenge, I get back at people by
delivering the same torture. Did I ever tell you about the time that I saw a
giant cow? It was simply a giant cow that had eaten a dodgy batch of crops.
Farmer Bill was quite cross, he was, that old farmer who farmed near Tolbi. He
chased that cow around Tolbi all day long and in the end, the cow trampled him
underfoot. We had the funeral for Farmer Bill the next day. Poor old Farmer
Bill, I do wonder where his children are now. They were quite fond of cows. I
think they adopted the giant cow actually, since it was the last living thing to
see Farmer Bill alive, and I do think that they were quite attached to it. Hmm,
I haven't seen anyone from Tolbi in a long time. I wonder how my one-time pal
Greg is doing? We stopped being pals, you see, when he kissed my fiancée. Yes, I
was engaged once, though it may surprise you...
*sobs
hysterically*
She was
quite a pretty young thing. Her name was Mary-Sue and she had such pretty
sparkly red-gold-orange-blonde hair with streaks of silver-gray-teal-blue and
her eyes were chocolate-hazel-brown with flecks of gold and green, and sometimes
I swear that they turned blue-gray-sapphire, when she was feeling sad. Her skin
was creamy and smooth and her voice was like a nightingale's. We got engaged
just two weeks after we met and our wedding was scheduled for a month later.
However, the night before the wedding, I saw Mary-Sue sitting on a bench with my
ex-pal Greg and they were kissing, so I stormed up and called off the wedding.
She cried, she begged, she cajoled for me to forgive her, but I simply would not
so she walked out of Tolbi and I never saw her again. Actually, I think she
returned to her own world, where she was apparently a princess and her true name
was Raven Sparklypoo Serenity Clementine Amberlocks. Such a long and fancy name,
don't you think?
AGATIO! KARST!
LET ME OUT! *claws frantically at wood and makes it splinter* GAH!!!!
I was
feeling quite hungry this morning, you see, so I decided to have some breakfast.
Do you know what I ate? I ate sausages and bacon for breakfast. After I had my
breakfast, I let out a really loud burp. It is quite rude to burp in public,
isn't it? Just as well that I wasn't in public. I always make sure to watch my
manners when there are other people around. I do wish that Garet would do the
same thing. That unruly boy even scratches his bottom sometimes. Have you ever
seen Garet scratching his bottom? It is quite an unpleasant sight. Sometimes,
Garet talks with his mouth full. I always wonder if he's going to choke on his
food. Do you think anybody would be upset? Garet doesn't seem to be the most
popular person in the group. Everyone always scolds him and he has a nasty habit
of getting into trouble. How does Isaac put up with being his best friend? But I
suppose Isaac is used to him since they grew up together. Isaac is quite a nice
boy, he always listens dutifully to me. Garet used to sleep during my lessons. I
think Jenna pays attention to. Jenna is quite the good student, except she
easily gets impatient with me and she's got a bit of a temper, you see. Felix
listens too. Now, Felix, he is quite rash sometimes, don't you think? But he
certainly is no fool like I said to Jenna once. Oh, how careless of me, I am
forgetting you were there too. Oh well, it really doesn't matter, does it? What
do you think of Sheba? I think Sheba is quite the tease. Teasing Jenna about
Isaac? Really! And her head, quite like a melon! I wonder who faints more, Sheba
or Ivan? Say, do you think Mia hates your guts? I seem to get that impression.
You should probably stay away from her anyway, I think she likes her mace. Oh, I
haven't mentioned Piers. I wonder how old Piers is. I would like Piers to tell
me how old he is. Would you like Piers to tell you how old he is, Alex?
I CAN'T TAKE
ANY MORE!!!! *explodes*
Well, isn't
this fascinating? I am covered in chunks of Alex. This is quite disgusting. I
would like to be released from the cupboard now.
*opens
cupboard* Oh, is he dead already?
That was
quick. Eh, get out of there, old man.
It truly is
a work of art inside this closet.
Let us
preserve it forever and ever.