Torture: Pokémon

Ok... last I remember is someone hitting me with some sort of chloroform rag and now I'm tied to this pole...
That would be our fault.
ACK! It's you!
Ready for another torture, Alex?
Um... no, I'm not.
Too bad, because we're torturing you now.
Kyarorain has lent us six Pokémon each.
Isn't that nice of her? She said they were very powerful too.
And we are going to use their most powerful attacks on you.
That sounds... rather unpleasant.
I can assure you, it certainly will be unpleasant.
It wouldn't be torture without pain now, would it?
Somebody help me?
*sigh* Nobody will help you, Alex.
They want to see you tortured. Now let's start.
Me first. I choose you, Gyarados!
Pfft. Isn't it a Water type? Sending a Water type out against a Water Adept is rather...
Gyarados, Hyper Beam!
ACK! That really hurts!
Me next. Go, Arceus!
She has a not yet revealed legendary from the latest series of games? What a cheater.
Of course. Arceus, Judgment!
*whimpers* That hurt too...
Now for another legendary. Come out, Mewtwo!
Ugh... this is overkill...
Use Psychic!
*is rapidly becoming bruised and beaten in certain places*
Now, come out, Venusaur!
Pssh, a lowly... Grass type... what can it do...?
Razor Leaf.
*is rapidly sliced and cut and starts bleeding everywhere* Owwwwww...
Aren't Grass types cool? Go, Meganium!
No more... please...
VINE WHIP!
GAHHH!!! *is bleeding even more*
  Had enough already? Too bad. You're up next... what was this one again? ... Huh, a Ditto came out?
Eh?! A Ditto? What is it supposed to do?
... Transform? ... It just transformed into a copy of Alex. Is that even possible? o_o
Maybe a certain webmistress did things to that Ditto... who knows? Just order it to do something!
Um... okay... er... Kick in the Nuts!
That's not even a move- oh, it did it anyway...
AAAAAAAHHHHHH *screaming reaches high pitch then fades* ;_; It... hurts... too much...
Now for a nice little Water and Electric combination. Go, Blastoise!
... Eh?
Blastoise, Hydro Pump!
You have got to be kidding me. That didn't even hurt.
Go, Pikachu! Thunder!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *is severely electrocuted*
Let's put an end to this now. Go, Charizard! Flamethrower!
*is now thoroughly barbecued and bleeding severely* ... *whimpers*
Golem, I choose you! ... Self Destruct!
*is blown into a bazillion chunks by an exploding Golem*
Ahh, that was quite fun.
It certainly was.

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