Daddy Issues

What's wrong with my disguise?! Everybody makes fun of it...
You!
Yes. Me. What about me?
Is it true you contributed your sperm to my creation?
You mean, am I your father?
Er. Yes. Yes... that's what I mean.
Hm, what was your mother's name?
Y-you bastard! Are you saying you've screwed so many women, you don't even-
No. I've only ever slept with one. Good grief. Fine, was her name Veriti?
So it's true!
Meh, not a lot of us super mysterious blue haired people around. Not too hard to figure out.
Yeah, and Lemurians never even leave. Except for Piers, but he would never abandon a pregnant woman.
That's right! Captain Piers is a charming, noble, righteous man... and he's so hot! *swoon*
Nowell? Why are you here?
Oh, you remember me, do you? And it took you ages to ask about me too!
H-how did you...? Master Kraden?
*whistle*
Mia's spawn, I take it?
Ah, it's Alex! The scourge of the earth! An evil bastard who only loves himself and-
Just what has Mia been saying about me?!
Alex? That Alex? The bottom dwelling scum sucker and an absolute creep who probably still wets the bed?
You guys are making this "Alex is my father" revelation a lot harder, you know.
He's your father?! ... Oh well, Tret did make that pretty obvious anyway.
You poor thing.
Sigh. I'm leaving. *warps out*
Wow, is it possible his miniscule feelings are capable of being hurt? Nah, it couldn't be.
Anyway, when is that fourth game coming out?
Er...
I've been waiting so long for my chance to shine as an actual playable character, get my own official art and find true love at the end with my beloved Captain Piers...
It sure is taking a while...
In the meantime, we're just going to... I dunno, hang out?
Are we ever going to find out what's up with that gigantic Psynergy vortex?
To end on a cliffhanger like that and not quickly release the sequel seems cruel.
Alex really is my father...
You still on that? Yeah, sure, your dad's a dick but so what? It don't make you a dick or anything.
Honestly, I'm amazed. Alex always seemed so in love with himself, to think he'd bed a woman...
Whoah, what's this about Alex bedding women?
Never mind that, he's still alive?
Surely we all knew he wasn't really dead.
Man, what a sloppy job that Wise One did, not bothering to finish him off.
Don't say that! Amiti wouldn't have been born otherwise.
Amiti?
That's me...
Huh.
You are Isaac, right? I predicted you were in grave danger some tiime ago. I wonder what that was about.
Hmm... well, there was this moment when I was wondering where that copy of the Sun Saga I keep in the bookshelf was...
Oh yeah, I took it. Sorry.
Jenna was there, and she overheard him... things got a little heated. Honestly, Isaac, why did you even have a copy?
Well... I... it's not like I had the entire series!
That doesn't seriously count as grave danger, does it?
Clearly, you've never seen Jenna in one of her worse moods.
It's possible this grave danger hasn't come to pass yet... maybe.
Oh, great. Do I have to watch my back?
Hmm. Who'd want to get even with you, I wonder... gosh, I can't think of anyone at all.
Your sarcasm is unappreciated.
Well, it's certainly not me. I had better things to do than go after you, contrary to what fanfic writers thought. Geez, they thought I'd be obsessed with you or something.
Dark Dawn may have been a bad game, but at least it wasn't using a plotline done to death in fanfiction, huh?
Why are you back?! I wanted to quietly angst over my daddy issues. How can I do it with you right there?!
Geez, okay. Let me know when you're done angsting. *warps out*
Aaaaaaangst...
Amiti's taking this hard.
Should we try to cheer him up?
I don't think daddy issues are the kind of thing that go away with just a little cheering up.
Hmm, does anyone else have daddy issues to talk about?
Who's your daddy, anyway?
Sure is weird how our kids never met Mia's before the journey. What's up with that?
I know. right. To think they ended up travelling with Kraden of all people and still...
Uh... er... you see... it's... classified information!
Yup! Classified information!
Uhh...
Come to think of it, I don't even know who my wife is. Weird!
Huh? How can you not know who my mother is... my... mother... I... can't even remember her face...
What, you really can't? Heck, I know the face of my mother.
Oh my gosh... I don't know my mother's face either... I'm an awful child...
To be honest, I don't remember what my father's face looks like either...
Okay, guys, maybe there's a good reason for this...
Aaaaaaaaannnnnngst...
Crap, it's spread...
Come to think of it, where's my mother? Nobody said anything about her at the camp...
You don't know?
My dad said to tell her how sorry he was, and yet... where even was she? I don't understand!
Things are taking an unpleasant turn. I am thankful to know who my parents are and where they are.
My parents are dead.
I'm sorry to hear that.
It's fine. We should try to cheer up our friends somehow. Do you have any ideas?
Hmm. I could try emoting at them, but they might take it the wrong way like people always do.
It's a pity Captain Piers and Takeru can't be here.
Oh, that's right, my big brother is supposed to be travelling with you, isn't he?
Right, but they have never appeared in the game and therefore have no face icons. Oh, how cruel, to think I can't be with my Captain Piers on these fair webpages until a fourth Golden Sun game is to come out...
Dial it back a bit, sis, you're seriously starting to sound nuts.
At least I'm not despised by the fandom for being a nerdy Kraden wannabe.
... sob. *runs off*
Hey! What's wrong with wanting to be like me?!
Hmm...
*whistles*
Meh, he deserved it. I can't believe he took so long to remember me when there were rampaging monsters killing everyone. Jerk.
Seriously, am I that bad?
So, like, is my disguise really that bad? Honest question.
That's meant to be a disguise?!
And here I thought he was really just rocking the broken plate on face look.
As far as disguises go, it's very half assed, that's for sure.
I can't believe my father is an evil bastard who wears a stupid disguise.
There, there, Amiti. Are you feeling better yet?
A bit. It's a lot to deal with.
Great. Hope you're not expecting father and son bonding sessions.
You're the last person in Weyard I want to bond with, thank you very much!
Ouch. Man, people really don't hold back around me, do they?
Well, yeah, you're the villain. What do you expect?
Curse you and your logic! Fine, I'm leaving, but know this, I'll be back! *warps out*
I always wanted to punch his face in. Why did we never get the chance?
We never got the chance either. What a damn shame.
At this rate, will anyone ever get to punch his face in? Maybe the next generation of Adepts? I wonder if I will be there to see it. Ho ho ho...
I swear a chill ran down my back just now.
We haven't even had our sequel yet and you're already talking about us having kids... where is our sequel?
Yes, please, make that sequel and people can stop hating me because I'm not my sister, thanks. Well, provided she'll actually be a playable character.
Of course I will be!
Only time will tell, and I'm sure I'll be around for a very long time. *laughs maniacally*
O_o;;;
We're sorry.
"We"? You're blaming this on me too?!
*staaaaaaare*
Jeez. Okay, okay.
*hiding somewhere a short distance away* Heh. Even when you're having grandkids and great grandkids, I'll still be there... and I sure won't be getting punched in the face! *warps away*

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