Matthew's Interview

Well then, let's begin... our new series of interviews, with the Dark Dawn cast! Let's start off with Matthew!
Um. Okay then. So I just answer questions?
Sure.
Okay. I'm good at that. Do I also get to show off my range of emotions and end up accidentally invoking the wrath of the wrong people because I had no idea who they were supposed to be aimed at?
... No, you don't have to do that part.
Alright then. Go ahead.
Well then. Question one! Were the circumstances of your birth entirely natural?
... What?
Like, are you really Jenna's biological son?
Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?
You're really not a clone of Isaac?
.............
Seriously, you look way too much like him.
I know.
Oh well, jokes aside... Question 2:  Why doesn't your mom live at the outlook cabin?
Um. It's... dangerous.
Bullshit. Jenna's probably more dangerous than every eclipse monster, Dullahan, Star Magician, Ancient Devil and Ogre Titans combined. What's the real reason?
You make my mom sound like a monster.
^_^
Sigh. Honestly... well, she lives in Kalay. My father prefers her to stay there.
So he can have uninterrupted nookies with Garet, right?
What?!
It's okay. Everybody already knows.
It's not like that! What the heck is wrong with you?!
*smirk*
... You are nuts, you know that?
I know. Okay then. Question three: What are your thoughts on the Sun Saga?
Er... it's... okay, I guess.
Do you believe it to be an accurate depiction of the journey?
Well, judging from what I've heard from Dad and Garet, it leaves a lot out so maybe not. Mom hates it.
I'm sure she does. Has she hunted down and killed the author of the Sun Saga yet?
She wouldn't do that.
Matthew, Matthew, Matthew... nah, you're right. But, man, I'm way too entertained by the thought of what she'd do to the author. But this isn't the place for that. Question four! Is that Isaac's scarf?
Er, yes, he handed it down to me.
Cool. It's pretty old though, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's in pretty good shape.
I wonder how much monster blood got on it over the years. Gross.
... It's clean.
Good, good. Well, Question five. Is it tough being a mute protagonist?
It sure is.
Yeah?
Every time I emote, someone gets mad at me or just misunderstands what I'm saying. It's hard. I wish I could just talk.
You poor thing.
But, you know, my dad says he was only able to say 'yes' and 'no'.
Yeah, well, I think that was better.
It was?
Uh huh. The emoticon system is so poorly executed. I wonder why they bothered...
I see...
Oh well. Question six! Do you use hairgel?
Um, what's hairgel?
It's gel. You know?
I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about.
So your hair naturally sticks out like that?
What's so strange about that?
Gravity defying hair is kind of cool...
Um. Okay.
Anyway~ Question seven! Is your dad evil?
What? Why would you even ask that?
He made you sit through that Djinni tutorial, didn't he?
Well, yes.
Even though he knew the pain of sitting through a forced Djinni tutorial from the start of his own adventure.
Uh...
Therefore he must be evil. Why else would he make you suffer the same fate?
Oh come on, it wasn't that bad.
It is when you replay the game! And all those other tutorials! Oh my god. Did we really need to be shown how to move the stump when we'd only just attempted to move it ourselves? I swear Isaac is evil.
Okay... I'll just leave you to your delusions.
Ahem. Question eight: Why does the lookout cabin only have two beds?
What are you getting at now?
Do Isaac and Garet share a bed?
Sigh.
I guess it's the inn thing all over again...
What are you talking about?
Never mind. Question nine: What do you think of beastmen?
Uh... they are okay? I have no problem with them?
Would you actually date one? *coughlikeSvetacough*
Dating...? Uhh, well, I haven't even thought about that, but I don't think it would be too weird...
Probably keep you really warm at night.
Er. I guess so. They are just humans with fur. Nothing strange about it.
Wonder what your dad and mom would think about you being a potential furry.
Huh? But I don't have fur? I don't think dating beastmen turns you into one either.
... You are so innocent.
I don't see how my not understanding all the strange words you throw at me makes me innocent.
So you're not innocent? Okay, fess up.
I didn't say that!
One day, I will expose your dirty secrets. Muahahaha... okay, seriously, question ten. Why the heck does Briggs say you have your mother's eyes? That's weird...
Is it...
Hell yes. I mean, Jenna's eyes are maroon or brown or whatever, but yours are blue. Just like Isaac. Man, did any of her genes get transferred to you like, at all? Are you really not a result of parthenogenesis and some bizarre MPreg shenanigans?
You what?
You heard me.
I didn't even understand any of that last sentence.
Geez. Alright, interview over. Let's hear everyone's thoughts on Matthew.
Matthew's my best bud.
It really is hard to tell who he's emoting at sometimes. If only I actually had the power to read minds...
Hm, yes. Matthew is a good friend.
I am pleased to have met him.
Er. Matthew is... *blushes* a fine man. Yes. I'm very grateful to him.
Eh. He's a good kid.
Matthew is Matthew.
My son has become a fine warrior. Just a pity about the whole accidentally starting the apocalypse thing, but at least they fixed it.
Matthew's been a great help in raising my son.
Matthew looks so much like his father, it's astounding.
Hm. Yes. The spawn of Isaac. I wonder where his adventures will take him next.

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