Tyrell's Interview

 
It's interview time again, yay~ Now who will my unfortunate victim be... ahh, yes, how about Tyrell?
Eh? Me?
Yes, you.
Uh... what do I have to do?
Just answer the questions. It's a piece of cake.
I like cake.
... Uh, sure. You're not actually getting cake for doing this, you know.
Aww...
Let's get on with this, shall we? Question 1: Do you actually, you know, possess a brain?
Um. I think so.
Are you sure?
Seriously, that's mean...
It takes a special kind of dumbassery to jump off a cliff.
... Yeah, yeah. Sigh.
Okay, character bashing gets old fast so let's move on. Question 2: So, who's your mom?
Eh, why do you want to know that?
The entire fandom wants to know! Why the heck don't we know who she is?
My mom's dead.
Yes, but...
And I don't know who she is either.
You. Don't?
Nope.
... Sigh. I guess it wouldn't be that easy.
That particular detail about my mom being dead would have been in the game, but they had to go and change things.
And so we never got to see Kalay, Bilibin, Ivan, and Jenna.
That sounds like it would have been so much better than searching for a feather.
A feather for a device you broke.
Oh. Yeah. Haha. Whoops?
Sigh. Question three: What are your thoughts on being basically fanon Garet?
Fanon... Dad? What's fanon?
You know. Stuff fandom comes up with. Like Garet being dumber than a bag of bricks and unable to think of anything but food. Things like that.
Huh... well, I have no idea what to think.
No, I suppose you wouldn't. Boy, this ten question format got old a long time ago... I should come up with something different.
Could we do something that makes me come across as totally cool so I can impress Karis?
Question four: Do you honestly think you have a chance with Karis?
Um. Well.
Half the time, it seems like she wants to murder you.
Well, yeah, I guess I do get on her nerves sometimes. She can be a bit bossy, you know? Always nagging...
And you're still interested in her?
I guess I must be a bit of a ma... maso... cheese... no, that's not right...
The word is masochist.
Right! Masochist! Anyway, Karis is pretty cute.
Anyway, if Camelot did Generation Xerox again, god forbid, you'd probably get the Garet, Ivan and Mia treatment. Who are we kidding though, there might not ever be a Golden Sun 4 let alone 5...
Not sure what that means, but okay.
Question five: What the hell happens after you see the damn giant Psynergy vortex?!
What makes you think I can even answer that?
I want to know already! It's been years! Years!
You sure are asking me a lot of stuff I can't even answer. Are you just here to rant?
Question seven: Why am I so inconsistent with how I write numbers?
You are?
And why can't I ever think of anything new to ask?
That was two questions.
Oh, you can count. Very impressive. Garet must be so proud of you.
Geez... you really aren't in a very good mood today.
Maybe I would be in a better one if Camelot announced a fourth game already.
By the way, you skipped six.
Let's pretend seven was six and the question I asked after that was seven.
I get the feeling you are really half assing things here.
I'm not 15 anymore, I can't always come up with random nonsense on the spur of the moment. How I wish I could.
Okay...
Question eight: How many of you would it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?
Exactly.
... Yeah, this is really pointless. I'd rather just go eat... er, I mean, fight monsters or something. And look totally cool doing it. *stomach rumbles* Uhh... gosh, I wonder what that noise was.
Question nine: Does your Uncle Aaron look like a man now?
What? Of course he does.
Good for him. Your aunt and uncle doing well?
Er, yeah. My dad's family all live in Kalay.
And I suppose your aunt has flowers.
Er... I do remember her getting mad at me for treading on flowers once.
Oh dear. Question ten: Are you looking forward to the showdown with Kraden's pigeon?
Eh? The what?
You know. The pigeon. Personally, I'm betting on the pigeon myself.
Seriously? How could a pigeon beat me?
Fool. Someone as amazing and legendary as Kraden could only have an amazing and legendary pigeon to match.
... I really don't know about calling that old fart amazing and legendary.
You don't get it at all. You poor thing. May Kraden save your soul.
You are honestly kind of nuts sometimes, you know that?
Why, thank you!
... That wasn't really supposed to be a compliment.
Now then, let's see what everyone has to say about Tyrell!
We're like brothers, but boy, he can be... yeah.
Tyrell is a real handful. It's frustrating.
This guy. He is certainly... lacking in the brains department.
I know he's not that smart, but he's still a friend.
A very brash young man for sure.
Everyone going on about brains this or brains that, does it really matter?
Tyrell is Tyrell. 
*sighs and shakes head*
I know my son is a bit challenged, but hopefully he'll grow out of it.
If Garet's son turned out like this, I shudder to think what Tyrell's son would be like.
Not really a surprise how he turned out, considering his fire headed oaf of a father.

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